There are many things I remember from growing up in an Italian family, particularly when it comes to weddings. They were nothing short of extravagant, but not necessarily in the way of today's experiences. Wedding receptions, in particular, were all about bringing together two separate families to become one, celebrating with food, music, and probably too much wine at each table. 

Cannoli may not seem like a big deal – just another over-the-top dessert served at an overstuffed dessert table (one eight-foot-long table would absolutely never be enough back then). But this sweet treat is one of the all-stars, always present at these elaborate celebrations, and with good reason. 

Cannoli and Weddings Join Families 

Going back 20 or 30 years, Italian wedding celebrations were events filled with happiness. They were a symbol of life moving forward, the next generation of the family building, and new relationships forming. Everyone sat on each side of the reception hall, according to which family they were from, the bride or the groom. With 100 to 150 people at the average wedding, this was a big event. 

After arriving, you made your way through the reception line to congratulate everyone (and often, if you were my mother, a side trip past the dessert table), then took your seat until everyone arrived. Then, there was a meal, and in Italian celebrations, food is always carefully selected and prepared, so there is twice as much as any gathering typically needs. 

Meals were spent at round tables, chatting with the family members you knew and loved, catching up, and often discussing life's struggles (there's always a bit of bragging about your successes and good grades as a kid at that table by your parents). Then, after the meal, people would rise and start to mingle, still staying on the same side of the room. 

Once the wedding progressed and the dancing started, something quite interesting often happened. No matter the wedding or the ethnicity of those on the other side of the hall, somehow everyone was on the dance floor together, often meeting each other and having a good time. It was probably something to do with the wine, of course, but the same storyline played out nearly every weekend during the summer back then. 

How does that have anything to do with cannoli? 

In actuality, the dessert is representative of bringing two sides together. It was often told to me by my aunts that these treats were meant to be shared, and as you folded the dough to create them, joining one side to the other, you were creating new bonds which, you hoped, would be filled with the sweetness of life. 

Like the wedding reception, the folding of the cannoli shells is all about creating a special new bond with others. No one ever talked about that, except maybe my sweet aunts, who would proudly put their creations on display, holding them up like a glass of champagne and saying "Salute!" to a new life beginning. 

Cannoli and Family: Bringing an Italian Wedding Dessert Back to Life 

Today's weddings rarely happen in the same way. Backyard celebrations, destination weddings, and even quick "close family" receptions are common. Yet, it's always an amazing treat to bring something special to such an event. 

Recently, a family friend whom I've known for more than 35 years told me that her daughter was getting married, but she was struggling with the concept of "less is more." Quite unlike many Italian cultures, where Nonnas and Zias (Grandmothers and Aunts) never let you leave the home without feeling stuffed. We talked about how traditional weddings were so special to us, as kids then, because of those special treats, like cannoli. 

It's still possible to dig out recipes and make these special treats. However, it's also possible to purchase cannoli shells and cannoli filling that's quite accurate to have delivered to your home. Now, that may seem contradictory to everything mentioned. Yet, what is most important in these traditions is not just the Italian wedding dessert, but the memories that go with them. 

As for my friend, the purchase of cannoli shells allowed her to easily slip a beautiful plate of stunning treats on the bride and groom's table. There was no need to say anything else. One by one, those sweet treats were eaten up, and they were cherished with every bite. Perhaps a few of the older generation were there to "Salute" each other in her family, but because it was such a small gathering, we didn't get a chance to participate ourselves. 

Carrying on Traditions in New Ways Counts 

Perhaps one of the best things to consider when creating a plan for an Italian wedding is how to recreate those wonderful memories. The good news is that cannoli shells still represent that joining of families, and the sweet filling within still means celebrations of a wonderful new life together. 

When my daughter finally gets married (fingers crossed), she's already promised to have a big wedding filled with laughter, music, dancing, and celebrating the joining of new families. And, of course, these sweet Italian treats will be present. 

Because she's grown up with them at so many celebrations, they'll likely be some on each table as a way to remember her heritage. In truth, what is more important than life than the people you share it with? Salute! 

Contributed by Sandy B in Ohio